So... Why Mortuary Science?

As you can imagine, I get this question a lot. When I made the decision to pursue this career, I knew this was going to be a regular discussion point. So when the question "what do you do for a living?" is raised, it's always a guess as to what reaction I'm going to get. I usually get a couple of different responses. It's either something along the lines of, "Oh! That's not something you hear everyday, but I guess someone has to do it." or "Oh! Really? So you're gonna be like cutting open dead bodies and stuff?" and occasionally the "You'll never be out of a job!" bit would be added in somewhere along the way. Now, while these responses do give me an opportunity to start a conversation about how funeral service and mortuary science aren't only about the morbid details they might be imagining, it does get a bit old having to hear the same things over and over again. But the real answer to this often asked question? Well, in short, I chose this path to help and care for people in a time of need.

All my life I have wanted to help people. Growing up, I was considered the friend that you could lean on in a time of need, someone who could give you advice if you wanted it, and someone who would listen to your concerns, feelings, and grievances without judgment. This, paired with my personal experiences with loss and death, make me confident in my choice to pursue a career in mortuary science and funeral directing. I once spoke with a funeral director who told me, “You don’t just wake up one day and decide to become a mortician. You’re either born into it, or you're called to it.” I took that as a sign that I have been called to care for the families who have lost their loved ones, as well as care for the loved ones themselves to the best of my ability.

For nearly 8 years, I worked in a public library in my hometown. While working there, I saw patrons from all walks of life; from children and parents working on homework, students taking proctored tests for college classes, homeless individuals looking for resources or simply a dry and safe place to spend the day, and many many more. Each person had their own story or situation and my job was to help them reach their goals during their visit. Every day I faced a new challenge and witnessed a new story. This job, unlike some others I’ve had, filled me back up at the end of my work day because I felt I was making a difference, even in a small way, in each of these patrons’ lives. So, in a way, I feel my experience there has prepared me to help those who are potentially going through the most stressful time in their life planning a funeral for their loved ones. The paperwork involved in end of life care can be intimidating and overwhelming. However, I hope that, with my organizational skills and patience, I can make the process less stressful for the families I'm caring for. This career isn't for everyone. I realize that a large part of being a funeral director is a lot like being a grief counselor as well as an empathetic listener. Listening to family memories and stories is part of that process, and I take joy in hearing how others remember their loved ones (the good and the bad). My view on death is that it's very simply a part of life and part of everyone’s journey. I want to help people realize this and help them come to terms with this fact so that it doesn't become a source of fear. These memories, stories, feelings and more are all part of the process of life, but in the same way, they are most definitely also a part of death. I want to help grow this awareness in my community as well as in the field of mortuary science so the topic of death becomes more normalized and less taboo. The more we know, the less intimidating it is.

Attending mortuary school will start my path to becoming a funeral director, but the real journey will come with the many families I care for during their time of need. My hope is that, in this journey, I can inform my community about end of life care options while creating conversations that are comfortable and reassuring of their beliefs, wishes, and concerns. My education is just the beginning, but I look forward to the challenges and opportunities it is sure to give me in the future.

Memento Mori, Nikki